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You DID IT! You finished college and now you are out into the big world to DO life! Congratulations!
And if you are like many of us, you are excited, nervous, AND feeling a little unprepared. Guess what? You are right! Life is a huge shift after college. So, what are
10 THINGS YOU WISHED YOU’D BEEN TAUGHT IN COLLEGE?
1. HOLD ON TO FRIENDS: It is really hard to move from a college environment to the world environment. You have to work on keeping friendships going or create socializing much more consciously than on campus. It’s a good idea to hold on to those college friends’ info to keep friendships alive and gather support from others on a similar journey. You will miss them. You will miss the pub and the parties. You probably aren’t aware of this, but you will feel lonely. And it can be hard to track folks down later, so STAY IN TOUCH.
2. NETWORK: Oh, I wish they had stressed this when I was in college and in my Master’s. What a massive source of fellow thinkers! Follow up with your professors, colleagues, bosses as you never know when you may be able to help them in the future or you might need their services. Networking is one of the most important skills you can learn to be successful in life. People highly trust referrals and recommendations. Make sure to share your network’s skill and brilliance with others.
3. HOME CHANGES: It’s going to feel different at home. Your family is different. You are different. You are going to want to be treated as an equal and to your parents you are still their child. If you move back in it can be hard. There are aspects of you that your parents aren’t aware of and you might not want them to know. Have clear discussions of what is expected of you so you can also come through for each other. Discuss schedules, finance, chores, dating etc. It can feel odd to feel like a guest in your home. Talk about this together.
4. THE POWER OF YOUR DEGREE: Most jobs require a degree BUT there are tons of folks looking for a job. You might have been THE best in your school but now it’s a huge pond. It’s important to protect your ego because applying and rejection hurts. It doesn’t mean you aren’t awesome, it simply means you weren’t chosen. And that is hard. Do everything you can to keep yourself motivated. It might be a long haul until you get that great position. You need to keep moving forward. And often, jobs are stepping stones. Look for a good first step.
5. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE: I was in theater. I excelled. I was always needed and cast. At 6’1”, when I went out into the world, I was shocked. I was too tall for almost everything because the world casts chronological age. In college, we were all 18-23, so I played all the older roles. I was great and I was 22 with make-up. I wish somewhere along my acting education someone had said, “Heather, you need to be realistic. This will be hard. You are pretty non-castable. You need to be sure you have the right audience.” I changed careers after 3 years on trying. I am thrilled with my career now, but I feel like I was childish in not realizing the unrealistic belief I had in acting success. I see many college grads who think all the biggest doors are going to be open to them because they were great in college. You need to have a good understanding of what the market wants now.
6. DEBT IS PAINFUL: Get out of debt as soon as you can. And pay your bills on time. Your credit rating is vastly important in this world for an apartment, car, credit card and sometimes for a job. Protect it. Let others put the bill in their name so you aren’t legally responsible. Co-signing a car to help a lover or friend is dangerous financially. Also, try and create an emergency fund asap. You are probably going to need it. Make sure you have some wiggle room.
7. LEARN INVESTING: There should be a class on this for all students. As adults we need to learn how to care for ourselves long term. Mortgage, crypto, stocks, credit cards, life insurance, monthly budget, retirement funds 401K, all need to be discussed as you step into adulthood. No one taught me any of this. At 51, I was suddenly a widow, a Mom of 2 teens, I had only $100,000 in the retirement savings. That’s it. I owed $200,000 in mortgage. I had no college fund for my kids. I have no pension. I have had to learn this in a life crash course which was hard, exhausting and foolish. I did not prepare for my life. I am finally learning it now.
8. RELATIONSHIP COMMUNICATION 101: We all know how to talk and most of us don’t know how to communicate effectively. We are not taught that everyone has their own beliefs, experience, thoughts, and feelings. They are different from yours but against yours. You don’t have to be offended. If we would flip communication on its’ head it works better. Instead of starting with words, start with compassion. Then connect on how to make the conversation productive and healthy and THEN communicate.
9. YOU ARE VALUABLE: Be mindful of where you give your time and resources. Some people will take as much as they can from you whether it be in studying, emotions, money, clothing. What you have is valuable. What you share is valuable. Make sure you are comfortable with what you give. You need to have the time to complete your responsibilities too. Sometimes you may need to take a friend to the nurse, the counseling center, or the financial aid office. You don’t have to be the “fixer” for others. This can be hard when it’s your roommate or friend. Get support. My first roommate kicked me out of the room 3 nights a week from 10pm-2am. My RA asked why I was in the hallway once, as she walked by. She asked if I’d like to change rooms. I didn’t even know that was possible. Be your own advocate or ask where you can get support. We all need support, We all need help. Therapy can be incredibly helpful. Make sure you take care of you AND be careful how much you feel you are being expected to take care of others. Ask and get help! There are tons of resources in college and post. Being a self-advocate will assist you hugely in your life.
10. THE POWER OF LOVE: Our world would be drastically different if we learned to love ourselves and others. Life would be drastically different. Everything is a little better with love. If we want our world to be better this is a course that is to be shared. How to Love. How to be a decent and kind human being. How to care about ourselves and others.
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Meet the expert:
I am Dr. Heather Browne, and I cultivate conscious communication for people who want to transform conversation and relationships from fear and judgment into embracing wisdom, compassion, respect. Dr. Heather Browne PsyD, LMFT, TedX speaker, best seller author of: Speaking with the Heart Transforming Your Relationship and Communication with Compassion and Connection helps people recognize the power of communication. It is one of our most important skills that we have, and yet we don’t consider our understanding, approach, belief, and therefore, miss our possibilities.
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