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I bet you look at those social media profiles and say to yourself, how come she has it all together and I am such a disaster? That’s just the thing… none of us have it all figured out. The persona is just a persona - that is what it is. I have had peers and colleagues ask me, how I do it all and not get overwhelmed and frazzled… well, I don’t do it all and I do get flustered. I do what I can and sometimes I get overwhelmed too.
You are way more powerful than you give yourself credit for!
As women, we all, no matter how confident or self-assured have a level of impostor syndrome… essentially, when you realize this is self-inflicted, it is so much easier to conquer it.
As women, moms, wives, employees, employers, and entrepreneurs, we always put ourselves last, yet, we expect so much from ourselves. We set the bar so high and then to amplify things, we go and compare ourselves to others, who from the outside seem so perfect :)
Here are some things I have learned through the years about how to stand in my power and maintain a life I love and a level of happiness that is incredible.
It’s not a virus
Firstly, here is how I see it…
Impostor syndrome is something everyone has - but we “named” it. I believe the moment we give something a name, then it is a diagnosis that we suddenly identify with… but no - it is not an illness or something that is our identity or something we cannot overcome. It is just a fleeting moment in life. It’s a moment in a day or week when our subconscious clouds our perspective. If you have moments of doubting yourself, that is perfectly OK, it’s normal - it is NOT WHO you are… It’s simply a moment in which you might be experiencing something new, or different that you are not sure how to navigate, it’s a moment that offers you the experience to learn and grow.
If you have moments of doubting yourself, that is perfectly OK, it’s normal - it is NOT WHO you are… It’s simply a moment
Don’t compare yourself to others
Stop comparing yourself to others. We can only compare to ourselves!
You don’t really know that other person’s journey and how they got where they are now. Let’s say they are highly successful and have it all figured out… who is to say what they went through to get where they are now? You might only be a fraction of the way into this journey that is leading you to the place where that person is finding themselves now. I can guarantee you they did not always have it all figured out.
The other side of this story is, maybe they are not quite as accomplished and all together as it seems. We all have some laundry and moments of fear and weakness behind closed doors. Sometimes that is precisely what it takes to get it all together.
Surround yourself with the right people
You have the choice and the power to decide how you respond to the ridicule and criticism of others. There will always be people out there who have nothing better to do than judge others. Sadly, those are usually the people who do not have much going on in their lives. The people who are out there improving their lives and who are working on bettering themselves do not concern themselves with judging and criticizing others. So maybe you should assess who it is you are hanging around, because if you are experiencing a lot of that negative kind of feedback in your life, then you need to start seriously assessing who it is you are spending most of your waking hours with. The way we grow and learn is by surrounding ourselves with others who are doing the things and who have achieved the success we desire.
Act like a Boss/Queen
Those of you who know me, or who might have read my book, know that I am a great proponent of a process I call - AFB.
Act it
Feel it
Be it
The power of posture and body language is highly underrated. While I am telling you never to compare yourself with others, I do advocate for you to find role models who embody the attributes you wish to see in yourself. And by the way, as I tell all my clients, if you can see those attributes in others, you already possess them. You would not recognize them if you were not familiar with them - you have them inside you.
So if you can alter your body language and posture to “embody” those traits, if you can act it, then you will start feeling it… if you can start feeling it, then you can truly internalize it and BE it.
Of course, this is a process, it does not happen overnight, but this is so powerful and when you start implementing it, it is like a snowball effect… it grows and grows! Before you know it, that set of insecurities you embodied before, will melt away and you will feel more powerful and more confident than ever! Demolish imposter syndrome for good!
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Meet the expert:
Vanessa Raymond was born in South Africa and now resides in the USA. Her experience in the performance, beauty, and fitness industries brought her to create her Self-Image Coaching Certification course which she now teaches to women all over the world. She is passionate about helping entrepreneurs, speakers and leaders step into their ultimate power so they can be successful personally, professionally, and financially.
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