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Hello Her Nation Souls! So happy you’re here to feed your soul!
Last month in May, I had the honor to speak at a Mother’s Day event. I received
tremendous heartfelt gratitude from the attendees. One of them even asked for me to
email her my talk because there was so much wisdom in it and wanted to share with
another mother who is struggling.
I was inspired to share the nuggets in this edition in hopes it will help, inspire and impact another woman or mother who feels alone in the journey. Honoring mothers – here on Earth or in Spirit – is a day of celebrating the journey of a mother’s heart – whether for fur or human babies. Some during this time find they are spending it with family, friends or alone. For the last few years now, I have viewed this day of celebration a bit differently. For me, Mother’s Day is a day to be with, inspire, uplift and celebrate other mothers. A day of remembrance of our motherhood journey or that of our mothers.
A time to celebrate and honor the motherhood journey as mothers give so much of
themselves all the time in a variety of ways. A month to remind mothers that we have
each other in a journey only another mother can hold space for. We have the ability to
hold space for a mother to simply show up and be the way she is at that moment of
time.
I’m here to talk about soul-care. You will quickly know I view the world differently than
most. I also always have to go deeper into a subject or connection. I’m not surface level
type of person. I never have been.
When I was asked to be part of this special event and the host wanted me to speak on a
topic related to self-care, I knew to take self-care to a deeper level and introduce soul-
care. Self-care has always been an important non-negotiable in my life for many years
now – it’s become a way of life for me to continuously heal at a cellular level, to feel my
very best, to experience optimal health and wellness and to live my best life.
For me personally, when I became a mom 26 years ago, I felt the big responsibility
women were being asked to carry out. I deeply felt this responsibility in my heart and in
my bones when the doctors gave me my girl for the very first time.
However, my motherhood journey took my heart to places I didn’t know existed within
me. My journey from self-care to soul-care is directly linked to my motherhood journey.
As I share my motherhood journey, I invite you to reflect on yours. The details of our
experiences might be different but the rollercoaster of emotions experienced in a
mother’s heart are the same.
The motherhood journey is like no other. I had years – specifically the last 6 years to
really reflect on the journey when my only child left the nest to live out her dream out of state!
The Motherhood journey to me is like walking the labyrinth – a spiral of emotions – a
spiral of a new way of being with each growth phase – a spiral returning you back to
YOUR HEART – the place where your soul resides – the place of your soul essence –
who you were before you wore the mom hat and identified yourself as a mother.
Because motherhood is a spiral it’s not a linear journey. There are highs and there are
lows. Saying YES to being a mother was an initiation entering what I call the Heart
Vortex. A vortex being a spiraling energy force from your heart down connecting you to
the Earth AND a spiraling energy force from your heart all the way up connecting you to Source. The constant need to ground, center, trust and believe – a rollercoaster of
emotions and experiences. Right?
So, the spiral back to my heart began in August 2018 when my daughter moved out of
state. Almost a year later, July 2019, on my 47 th birthday, I woke up extremely sad. Such a heavy feeling on my heart. I woke up feeling like I had no time left to live my life. I saw the end of my life and was thinking that I have so much left to do and experience. And it was so unlike me because I LOVE birthdays especially mine! I used to take the month of July as birthday month and now since I turned 50, I take the entire year! So, basically every day I celebrate my life on Earth.
I woke up crying and reflecting to my husband that a woman devotes so much of her life taking care of another and when they are all grown up and leave the house, we’re left to figure the rest of our lives out in the short amount of time left on this earth. I realized I had more years behind me than ahead of me.
I had to quickly snap out of that emotional spiral I was entering because I did have a
birthday to celebrate! I got through it with love and gratitude. But afterwards, I went into deep introspection and reflection.
The sense of urgency to do everything I ever wanted to do became real in my life. I had
all sorts of plans. And then March 2020 – 8 months after my birthday meltdown – time
stopped! Just like that!
At this time, my daughter was in another state and I was worried about the state of the
world with this health crisis we were currently undergoing. I trusted her. I didn’t trust the world to take care of her which led my mother’s heart to relive the events of 9-11 where I almost died and the thought of my 3-year-old daughter not having a mother haunted me for years to come.
Physical and mental health was at the forefront. Taking care of the body and mind
through movement, mindfulness or meditation were now being explored and prioritized
by many. Prioritizing self-care was now part of the collective consciousness which was
wonderful. This is where my self-care practices became a non-negotiable.
And just when I mastered self-care, the Universe whispered…it’s time to go deeper…
Two years later, in 2022, I went through a horrific health scare my daughter was
experiencing. The scariest thing I ever went through. Something no mother needs to
experience EVER. I dropped and left everything behind and went to her. I was fighting
the western medicine system and pushed for answers. I was not getting anywhere
where she lives so I brought her back to NY where my network of trusted doctors is and
after two months of fighting the system and taking care of her while not being in my own home, I finally got answers. I was finally at peace with the diagnosis and treatment plan.
And only when my mama heart knew she was ready to return to her home, did I let her
go.
So, for the last two years, as a result of this traumatic experience on my mama’s heart,
self-care was not enough. I required more than what I thought of as non-negotiable self-
care - the Universe had me on the journey of learning non-negotiable soul-care.
Where self-care addresses your body and mind therefore is an external expression of
wellness, soul-care addresses your heart therefore is internal – going into the depths of
your heart in order to bring forth your soul’s expression – to free your spirit. To remember the parts of you that you put aside, stuffed down or forgotten because you
became a mother.
Mothers are naturally self-sacrificing – we don’t even know we’re doing it most of the
time. There comes a time in our motherhood journey though where we are seeking joy,
passion and vitality for Self – self with a capital S – and that is the whisper of your soul.
There comes a time you know there is more for you than being a mother. You were
YOU before you became anything this world needed you to be. You want to FEEL
ALIVE! Not alive because you’re breathing every day – ALIVE because every cell in
your body is excited to be part of this world and is ready to experience magic and
miracles because we believe. Right?
What does soul-care look like?
I wish I could give you a formula but I can’t because it’s not a linear process. This too is
a spiral that’s part of your soul’s evolution and growth. What I can say is that it comes
down to this simple but not easy to do concept.
Protect your energy at all costs! Period. The End. Protect it like it’s your most precious
treasure because it is! Everything is energy – your body, mind, heart, money, time.
Saying NO! is a big part of soul-care. This takes practice – trust me – saying NO was
not my strength so being in the self-care world served me well during this time. But,
after I went through what I did two years ago, the importance of NO was clear and
imperative.
Saying NO kindly, with gratitude and understanding is possible. It doesn’t need to be dramatic or combative. It will be uncomfortable in the beginning but like anything else, practice makes it easier and eventually able to master it if you choose.
Bringing back what you enjoyed when you were younger is also part of soul-care. I love
to dance. Anytime I get to dance, my soul feels alive. I forget I’m in this aging body. I
forget I have to be careful of my knees. AND!!! Time doesn’t exist! There is no such
thing as time when I dance. This past February, I was on a 10-day cruise where I
danced EVERY NIGHT until close. I realized dance had to be a non-negotiable in my
soul-care. I can’t just wait for a party to dance. So, I found dance videos on YouTube
and I do it daily! What is your joy that suspends time and makes your body feel alive?
What is it that makes you feel like nothing else exists but your soul essence and
expression?
I try to follow and live by these two things:
(1) If it doesn’t feed my soul and
(2) it’s not a full body YES then it’s no thank you.
I don’t overthink it. This has served me well over the years. As a result, I have healed deeply at a cellular level, gained emotional clarity and now experiencing abundance like never before – effortlessly.
I only do what brings my heart joy and makes my soul dance. I retreat when my body
needs to reset and am super intentional with my energy in the form of people, time and
experiences.
Whatever stage of motherhood you are on, you are walking the spiral back to your
heart…the spiral from self-care to soul-care. Back to who you truly were and are!
Reclaiming the parts of yourself you put to the side, pushed down or have forgotten.
Wholeness returns now as you continue to say YES! to You. Saying YES! to your heart,
health and wellness. Saying YES! to soul-care.
I will conclude with the wisdom of butterflies. Because who doesn’t love butterflies?
When I started on my transformational journey 18 years ago, I fell in love with the life
cycle of the butterfly analogy when demonstrating change or transformation in our lives.
You might be familiar with this too – it went something like this – life as a caterpillar –
death in the cocoon – rebirth into a beautiful butterfly!
Like seriously? Stop! I LOVED that! It spoke to my soul and I LOVE butterflies. Who
doesn’t? This symbolism was magical!
Well, what I didn’t know was LIFE, in general, and more specifically motherhood, will
ask you to become a butterfly over and over and over again.
Your life – the people in it…your motherhood journey…your children – fur or human -
the moments that lit and filled your heart and brought you joy…the challenges that
caused your heart pain, worry and discomfort…ALL of it was for YOU to remember and
reclaim YOUR ESSENCE! Your truth!
And to be a woman and mom continuously in the heart vortex and walking the labyrinth spiral, you will always be required to learn, grow and gain inner strength to ‘die’ well in the cocoon – to say goodbye to the older outdated parts of yourself. Only to be asked to step and stand into a newer – more aligned – version of yourself. Your heart journey unlocks and brings forth your soul’s blueprint.
Moms are butterflies! You are the beautiful butterfly we see and are grateful to
experience here in community, friendship and sisterhood.
With each phase of our children, our identity and role changes – we are always needing
to let go and reinvent a version of ourselves we are not familiar with or have any book or manual to fall back on. We are forever needing to live in the evolutionary stage of our
children only to ‘die’ without any notice when they grow and leave the cocoon and then
rebirthing ourselves into a new way of being, loving, holding space for and guiding them.
For our hearts to have the ability to hold ALL the emotions at the same time our own
bodies are naturally undergoing hormonal changes, we, the MOMS, really are
SUPERHUMANS!
We, the MOMS, are LOVE WARRIORS! YOU are special! YOU are the beautiful
butterfly at every stage of your life. Take care of your soul! Always remember to
celebrate YOU! I SEE, FEEL AND HONOR YOU DEEPLY!
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Meet the expert:
Shalini Saxena Breault is a soul healer. She is currently doing a PhD. in Metaphysical Science. She is a soul journey guide.
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