The Hidden Cost of Staying Silent:Why Smart Women Say Yes When They Need to Say NO
- JOAN STENZLER
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
Have you ever found yourself emotionally exhausted, really frustrated, extremely impatient and JUST READY TO SCREAM?
Boy is that UNPLEASANT and it certainly isn’t the right time to take on another task or add yet another thing to your to do list, So you won’t decide to overextend yourself that way, when you’re already overloaded, RIGHT?
WRONG! Even though most women KNOW INTELLECTUALLY that when we’re simply exhausted, it’s a really BAD TIME to do anything that requires:
Our attention and patience
Additional effort on our part OR
The ability to add more to our load
And that it would be better for us to slow down, take a breath and find time to do something that’s nourishing and enjoyable…
So then what do you decide? Do you…
Pay attention to how much you do, so it’s manageable?
Ask for help from others so you don’t feel overwhelmed?
Take care of yourself and say HELL NO to any extra work?
OF COURSE NOT!
That would make so much sense SO LET’S DO THE OPPOSITE!
Most women, when they’re faced with yet another task to do or project to take on, either for themselves but especially for others, will decide to push through and keep going, regardless of how they’re feeling and especially if it can help someone else feel better or resolve a problem that person is facing.
WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT TO YOURSELF?
That my friends, is a really great question!
Here are some of the explanations that I’ve heard from women who justify overriding their capacity, even when they are feeling wiped out and simply can’t find the bandwidth needed to do just one more thing:
It needs to be done so why not get it out of the way?
It will make it easier for ______________ if I do this
If I lend a hand, they’ll acknowledge my efforts which will make me feel that doing it was worthwhile.
We make rules for how we should treat the loved ones in our lives but place much less importance on how we treat ourselves.
When it comes to our own needs, as women wearing many hats, we tend to overlook what’s right in front of us and ignore the signals our intuition is sending, to honor our own experience and listen to what feels right to us inside.
When it comes to our own needs, .......ignore the signals our intuition is sending, to honor our own experience and listen to what feels right to us inside.
What if you could learn how to do that?
How much better would you feel once you did?
YES you will probably feel some guilt about not stepping in to rescue someone else who is also overwhelmed. But you’ll get over it, Because you’ll be making an investment in yourself, your health and well-being, by pulling back your energy and keeping some in reserve for when you need it most.
you’ll be making an investment in yourself, your health and well-being, by pulling back your energy and keeping some in reserve for when you need it most.
It’s time to finally make yourself the TOP PRIORITY!
There are different ways to do this and it takes time, practice and patience,
but YOU’RE WORTH!
As a communication design strategist and women empowerment coach, I specialize in helping women who have struggled to come out of exhaustion, ask for help and say NO without feeling guilty.
To support you, I’ve created a FREE GUIDE called “Stop Carrying It All” that gives examples of common situations and simple solutions that help you to communicate assertively, set healthy limits and teach others how you want to be treated. And it’s a great place to start!
Grab your copy at:Link
Meet the expert:
Joan Stenzler is a communication design strategist, women’s empowerment coach, and relationship breakthrough expert dedicated to helping ambitious women and couples strengthen their relationships through effective communication. Drawing on her expertise in uncovering what lies beneath the surface of conversations, she empowers clients to navigate difficult discussions with confidence, resolve misunderstandings, heal emotional wounds, and rebuild the deep, loving connections they once thought were lost.
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