The Hidden Thoughts That Shape Your Leadership Why Self-Awareness Is the Leadership Skill Most Women Never Learn
- GLENIS M. MOSS
- Jul 30
- 8 min read
Before I Ever Spoke a Word
In my late twenties, I often stood in the exhibit booth at some of the largest
scientific conferences and trade shows in the world.
I was traveling with the executive team of a prestigious analytical instrument
manufacturer in California, where scientists, researchers, and university professors
gathered to learn about cutting-edge technology.
There was just one problem.
Many assumed I wasn’t the expert—before I ever spoke a word.
As a young woman in a room filled mostly with men, I could often see the
assumption on their faces.
They would glance at me, then turn to our CEO and ask a highly technical
question.
He would smile and simply say,
“Ask Glenis.”
I would answer.
They would nod politely... then ask their next question to him.
Again, he’d smile.
“Ask Glenis.”
After two or three exchanges, something remarkable happened.
The conversation changed.
Not because I argued.
Not because I demanded credibility.
But because they experienced my knowledge.
Years later, I was invited to present a technical seminar at NASA’s Marshall Space
Flight Center in Huntsville, Alabama.
Until then, all our communication had been through fax, so when I walked into the
room, several scientists looked surprised to discover the presenter was a woman.
Many leaned back in their chairs with folded arms, as if they had already decided
how much attention they were willing to give me.
But as the presentation unfolded, I watched something change.
They leaned forward.
Notebooks opened.
Pens came out.
Questions followed, and several scientists stayed afterward to continue the
conversation
Once again, I was reminded that credibility isn’t earned by convincing people who
you are.
It’s earned by consistently showing up with competence, confidence, and value...I was reminded that credibility isn’t earned by convincing people who you are.
It’s earned by consistently showing up with competence, confidence, and value.
At the time, I thought those experiences were teaching me about leadership.
Looking back, I realize they were teaching me something much deeper.
They were teaching me about self-awareness.
The Greatest Lessons Came from My Personal Life
Ironically, my greatest lessons about self-awareness didn’t come from laboratories,
boardrooms, or international conferences.
They came from my relationships.
I married at nineteen, believing love alone would sustain a marriage.
Fifteen years later, that marriage ended in divorce.
Like many women, I spent months asking painful questions.
What happened?
What could I have done differently?
Why didn’t I see the warning signs?
Eventually, I stopped asking what was wrong with everyone else and began asking
a much harder question:
What can I learn about myself?
That single question changed the direction of my life.
For the first time, I paid attention to my own communication patterns, assumptions,
fears, strengths, blind spots, and the stories I had quietly believed for years.
As my self-awareness grew, so did every important relationship in my life.
A few years later, I remarried and experienced an extraordinary marriage that
lasted more than twenty-one years until my husband unexpectedly passed away.
Years later, I found love again.
Looking back, I can honestly say this:
Self-awareness didn’t simply make me a better leader.
It made me a better communicator.
A better decision-maker.
A better entrepreneur.
A better partner.
And ultimately, a better version of myself.
The Leadership Skill Most Women Never Learn
After decades as a nuclear engineer, corporate executive, entrepreneur, and now a
Certified Human Behavior Consultant and DISC Profile Analyst, I’ve discovered
one truth I wish every woman entrepreneur understood:
The greatest leadership breakthrough you’ll ever experience isn’t learning to
lead others—it’s learning to understand yourself.
The greatest leadership breakthrough you’ll ever experience isn’t learning to lead others—it’s learning to understand yourself.
We spend countless hours and thousands of dollars learning marketing, sales,
business systems, and productivity.
Yet very few of us ever learn to understand the person implementing those
strategies.
How do I naturally communicate?
How do I respond under pressure?
What hidden beliefs influence my decisions?
Why do I avoid certain conversations?
Why do I keep repeating the same patterns in leadership and relationships?
These aren’t “soft” questions.
They’re strategic ones.
Because leadership doesn’t begin with influencing others.
It begins with understanding ourselves.
I’ve become convinced that most leadership problems aren’t intelligence problems.
They’re self-awareness problems.
The patterns we don’t recognize are often the patterns we repeat. Awareness gives
us the power to interrupt those patterns before they become our future.
Until we understand the thoughts, beliefs, and behavioral habits operating beneath
the surface, we’ll continue treating symptoms instead of addressing root causes.
Self-awareness isn’t just another leadership skill.
It’s the foundation upon which every other leadership skill is built.
An Engineer’s Perspective on Human Behavior
People often ask how I went from nuclear engineering to behavioral leadership
coaching.
To me, the transition has always made perfect sense.
Engineering taught me to think in systems.
When a complex system fails, engineers don’t silence the warning light.
We investigate the root cause.
We look for repeating patterns.
We search for the unseen variable affecting the outcome.
Over time, I realized leadership works the same way.
Whether I was leading corporate teams, building my own international company,
or coaching entrepreneurs, I kept seeing the same thing.
People were trying to solve visible problems while ignoring the invisible patterns
creating them.
A leader struggling with communication thought she needed another leadership
book.
An entrepreneur experiencing burnout believed she needed better time
management.
A business owner facing conflict assumed she needed to become more assertive.
But beneath those visible challenges were often invisible behavioral patterns—and
even deeper, limiting beliefs.
Engineering taught me that every system produces predictable results. If you want
different results, you have to understand what is creating them.
Human behavior is no different.
That realization became the foundation of everything I teach today.
DISC Is the Mirror—Not the Destination
One reason I became certified as a DISC Profile Analyst and later a Humna
Behavior strategist is because DISC offers something many women have never
experienced:
A clear, objective mirror.
DISC doesn’t change who you are. It reveals what may have been hidden from
you.
It simply reveals the behavioral tendencies that influence how we communicate,
make decisions, respond under pressure, build relationships, and lead.
Most importantly, it gives language to patterns many women have experienced for
years but couldn’t explain.
A driven entrepreneur suddenly understands why delegating feels difficult.
A relationship-focused leader realizes why saying “no” creates guilt.
A dependable business owner recognizes why she avoids difficult conversations.
An analytical entrepreneur discovers why perfectionism delays progress.
DISC isn’t the destination.
Self-awareness is.
DISC simply shines a light on the patterns that have quietly influenced our
decisions all along.
When we understand those patterns, we stop judging ourselves—and begin leading
with greater intention.
What This Means for Women Entrepreneurs
As entrepreneurs, we invest heavily in growing our businesses.
We study marketing.
Sales.
Branding.
Technology.
Leadership.
Masterminds.
Business coaches.
Those investments matter.
But here’s a question I often ask:
Have you invested as much in understanding yourself as you have in growing
your business?
Because your business will rarely outperform your leadership.
And your leadership can only grow to the level of your self-awareness.
Think about it.
The entrepreneur who struggles with boundaries eventually becomes
overwhelmed.
The entrepreneur who fears conflict avoids difficult client conversations.
The entrepreneur who needs everything to be perfect delays launching.
The entrepreneur who constantly seeks approval underprices her services.
The entrepreneur who refuses to ask for help eventually burns out.
These aren’t simply business problems.
They’re leadership patterns.
And leadership patterns become business results.
When women understand how they’re naturally wired, everything begins to shift.
They communicate more clearly.
Delegate more confidently.
Navigate conflict with greater wisdom.
Build healthier teams.
Strengthen client relationships.
And stop comparing themselves to everyone else.
Because the goal isn’t to become someone else.
The goal is to become the most effective version of yourself.
The Leadership Shift That Changes Everything
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned throughout my career is this:
Leadership isn’t about having all the answers.
It’s about asking better questions.
Instead of asking:
“Why does this keep happening to me?”
Ask:
“What pattern am I not seeing?”
Instead of asking:
“Why don’t people understand me?”
Ask:
“How might others be experiencing me?”
Instead of asking:
“What strategy am I missing?”
Ask:
“What belief or behavior might be limiting my leadership?”
Those questions create awareness.
And awareness creates transformation.
The moment we stop blaming circumstances and start examining our own patterns,
we begin leading with greater wisdom, confidence, and intentionality.
Final Thoughts
After decades in engineering, corporate leadership, entrepreneurship, coaching,
and studying human behavior, I’ve become convinced of one simple truth:
The greatest leadership breakthrough you’ll ever experience isn’t learning to
lead others—it’s learning to understand yourself.
Not because self-awareness solves every problem.
But because it changes how we approach every problem.
When we understand ourselves better...
We communicate differently.
We build healthier relationships.
We make wiser decisions.
We lead with greater confidence.
And perhaps most importantly, we stop fighting ourselves.
One of my favorite quotes is:
“The patterns we don’t recognize are often the patterns we repeat.”
The good news is that once you recognize the pattern, you have the power to
change it.
Awareness interrupts the pattern.
Intention changes the pattern.
Leadership transforms because of the pattern.
Self-awareness isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about becoming the most effective version of who you already are.
Leadership Reflection
Take a moment to reflect on these questions:
What pattern keeps repeating in my leadership, business, or relationships?
What belief might be quietly driving that pattern?
What would change if I became more aware of how I’m naturally wired?
Because every breakthrough begins with awareness.
And leadership clarity always starts with self-awareness.
Ready to Discover What May Be Quietly Limiting Your Leadership?
Many women leaders are exhausted...
Not because they aren’t capable.
But because they’re carrying leadership pressure they don’t fully recognize.
As a former nuclear engineer, corporate executive, entrepreneur, and Certified
Human Behavior Consultant, I’ve spent my career studying patterns.
Whether I was analyzing scientific systems, leading international teams, or
coaching women entrepreneurs, I kept discovering the same truth:
Most leadership challenges aren’t intelligence problems. They’re often self-
awareness problems.
I repeatedly saw brilliant, capable women struggle with:
Communication breakdowns
Stress overload and burnout
People-pleasing
Decision fatigue
Boundary challenges
Leadership loneliness
Not because they lacked talent.
Because they lacked behavioral awareness.
That’s why I created the FREE Leadership Clarity SnapshotTM—a quick self-
awareness assessment designed to help you uncover hidden patterns that may be
quietly affecting your communication, confidence, decision-making, relationships,
and leadership effectiveness.
In just 5–7 minutes, you’ll gain valuable insights into the behavioral habits and
leadership blind spots that may be holding you back, so you can begin leading with
greater clarity, confidence, and intention.
Take the FREE Leadership Clarity SnapshotTM today
Because leadership clarity starts with self-awareness.
Awareness changes the way you think.
Awareness changes the way you communicate.
Awareness changes the way you lead.
And when you change the way you lead...
You change everything.
I spent years studying scientific systems.
Today I study human systems.
The principle is the same.
When you understand the system, you can change the outcome.
That’s the power of self-awareness.
Meet the expert:
Coach Glenis McEwen Moss is a former nuclear engineer, corporate executive,
entrepreneur, Certified DISC Profile Analyst, Certified Human Behavior
Consultant, and Behavioral Leadership Strategist. By age 29, she had become Vice President of Customer Support for a leading scientific instrumentation company,and at 33 she launched her own international scientific instrumentation business,which she successfully led for more than 20 years. Today, she helps women entrepreneurs and leaders become Self-Aware LeadersTM by uncovering the behavioral patterns that influence communication,decision-making, leadership, and relationships. Through behavioral science, DISC,and executive coaching, she equips women to lead with greater clarity, confidence,influence, and sustainable success.
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