Always-On Care for an Always-On World: How Women Can Protect Their Mental Health Without Disconnecting From Life
- SHIKHA KAUSHIK
- 7 days ago
- 4 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
I realized we were living in an always-on world on a night when my phone buzzed with messages from three time zones.
One was a woman entrepreneur struggling with panic before a major pitch. Another was a volunteer coordinator checking in from a conflict-affected region. The third was a client message that simply read, “Are you awake?”
I was awake.
I was always awake.
That moment didn’t feel heroic. It felt heavy.
As a psychologist working internationally and as a woman building a global mental health platform, I began to notice something troubling: burnout wasn’t always coming from too much work. It was coming from never truly being off.
We live in a world that expects constant availability, instant replies, emotional labour on demand, and uninterrupted productivity. And women especially high-achieving, caring, purpose-driven women are paying the psychological price.
This is where we need a new conversation.
Not about self-care as bubble baths and boundaries slogans.
But about always-on care, care that meets the reality of modern life without asking women to disappear, disconnect, or abandon their ambitions.
The Hidden Cost of an Always-On Reality
In my clinical work, I’ve seen burnout show up in subtle ways:
chronic irritability masked as “being efficient”
emotional numbness disguised as professionalism
anxiety mistaken for motivation
exhaustion normalized as success
During my volunteer work with women affected by war and displacement, I noticed something powerful. Even in extreme conditions, the women who coped best weren’t the ones who were strongest they were the ones who had moments of psychological safety, however brief.
A shared cup of tea.
A pause before responding.
Permission to rest without guilt.
Burnout, I’ve learned, is not always about doing too much. Often, it’s about never being allowed to stop being needed.
Why Traditional Self-Care Is Failing Women
Most self-care advice was not designed for real life.
It assumes:
time is abundant
boundaries are respected
rest is socially supported
For many women, none of this is true.
When I was expanding Heal & Revive across countries, I tried to “self-care harder.” More routines. More discipline. More resilience. But what actually helped wasn’t adding more it was changing how care fit into my life.
Care had to be flexible, integrated, and compassionate not another performance.
What Always-On Care Really Looks Like
Always-on care does not mean being available to everyone else at all times. It means staying connected to yourself while living in a connected world.
Here are the principles I now teach my clients and practice myself.
1. Care That Fits Into Real Life, Not Around It
You don’t need an hour of silence to regulate your nervous system. Sometimes care looks like:
one conscious breath before opening an email
a two-minute grounding pause between meetings
placing your feet on the floor and noticing your body exists
When I worked with war veterans, healing often happened in moments—not sessions. The nervous system responds to consistency, not perfection.
Italian wisdom reminds us:
“Piano piano si va lontano.”
Slowly, gently, you go far.
2. Boundaries That Are Internal Before They Are External
Many women ask me, “How do I set boundaries without feeling guilty?”
Here’s the truth: boundaries fail when they’re only behavioural. They succeed when they’re internal agreements.
I had to stop believing that:
responding immediately made me responsible
availability equalled value
exhaustion proved commitment
Once that belief shifted, my boundaries held.
Care begins with what you allow yourself to believe about your worth.
3. Permission to Be Human, Not Hyper-Functional
There’s a specific kind of burnout I see in high-achieving women: functional burnout.
You’re still performing. Still achieving. Still delivering.
But joy is gone. Curiosity is muted. Presence is fragmented.
I remember a client saying, “I’m doing well on paper, but I feel absent from my own life.”
That’s your signal.
You don’t need to quit everything.
You need to come back to yourself.
4. Care as a System, Not a Reaction
Waiting until you break to care for yourself is like waiting for dehydration before drinking water.
Always-on care means creating support systems:
emotional (people who see you)
psychological (tools that ground you)
relational (spaces where you’re not performing)
digital (intentional tech use)
Chinese proverb:
“One beam, no matter how strong, cannot support a house.”
You were never meant to do this alone.
5. Redefining Strength for the Next Era
Strength is no longer about endurance at all costs.
The women I admire most leaders, healers, founders are those who know when to pause, ask for help, and recalibrate without shame.
Always-on care is not weakness.
It’s evolution.
A Closing Reflection
You don’t need to disconnect from life to protect your mental health. You need care that moves with you, not against you.
You don’t need to disconnect from life to protect your mental health. You need care that moves with you, not against you.
You are allowed to:
rest without disappearing
succeed without suffering
care deeply without self-abandonment
The world may stay always on.
But you don’t have to stay always depleted.
And that quietly, gently is how we change everything.
Meet the expert:
Shikha Kaushik is a psychologist and founder of Heal & Revive, a global mental health and wellness initiative active across 45+ countries. With experience working with high-achieving women, war survivors, and humanitarian communities, she brings a rare blend of clinical expertise and lived global insight. Her work focuses on burnout recovery, emotional resilience, and helping women succeed without sacrificing their mental well-being.
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