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Becoming Free From The Fear Of Failure
- Shikha Kaushik
- May 1
- 3 min read
Why your greatest obstacle isn’t failure, it’s the fear of it.
(And Here’s How To Set Yourself Free.)
By the time J.K. Rowling sat down to write the first pages of Harry Potter, she called herself "the biggest failure I knew." Years later, she’d reflect that "rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."
(And honestly... if the woman who created Hogwarts can feel like a flop, the rest of us can stop panicking over that one awkward Zoom call.)
Most of us know this silent villain far too well,
“But what if I fail?”
It’s the thought that sneaks up on you at 3 AM.
The voice that gets louder right before taking a risk.
The invisible wall between us and the life we really want.
It’s universal. It doesn’t care if you’re a fresh graduate or a CEO. Fear of failure has a VIP pass everywhere: boardrooms, studios, kitchens, or relationships.
But here’s the deal:
Failure is inevitable.
Staying stuck because of it? Optional.
Let’s talk about how to move from fear to freedom (without waiting to become perfect first, because spoiler alert: no one is).
1. Reframe Failure as Feedback
Nobody talks about this in school. We’re taught to aim for straight A’s, not straight failures.
But life? Life gives the best lessons in the messiest ways.
Thomas Edison said it best:
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
(Translation: He was the OG king of trial and error.)
Try this shift:
Stop saying “I failed at this.”
Start saying “I practiced this.” or “I learned from this.”
Suddenly, it’s less drama, more data. Less shame, more curiosity.
2. Tell Your Inner Critic To Take A Seat
Ah, the inner critic, that very enthusiastic (and very uninvited) life coach in our heads.
It loves dramatic statements like:
"This will never work."
"You’re not smart enough."
"People will laugh at you."
Honestly? It’s exhausting.
Here’s a trick I use with my clients:
Write down the worst thing your fear says to you.
Then write down what you’d say if your best friend told you that.
Example:
Fear: “Everyone will think I’m a joke.”
You: “Or maybe they’ll think I’m brave enough to show up, and that’s rare.”
Japanese proverb for the win:
"Nana korobi ya oki" Fall seven times, stand up eight.
(Or in modern terms: fail often, but make it look fabulous.)
3. Ditch Perfection, Embrace Progress
Perfectionism is fear dressed up in fancy clothes.
It convinces us to keep tweaking that project...
Keep delaying that launch...
Keep overthinking every word of that email...
Meanwhile, life is happening. Opportunities are waiting. And someone less “perfect” (but more courageous) is already out there doing the thing.
Remember:
People don’t connect with perfect.
They connect with real.
Watch a toddler trying to walk they fall, giggle, and keep moving.
No shame. No over-analysis. Just pure messy progress.
4. Ask: What’s Actually The Worst That Could Happen?
Fear loves exaggeration. It should honestly win an Oscar.
But next time fear shows up, ask:
"If I fail... what’s truly the worst that will happen?"
Will the earth stop spinning?
Will my ancestors disown me?
Will my cat stop loving me? (Highly unlikely.)
Truth is most worst-case scenarios are survivable. And in hindsight? They often become our best stories.
Spanish wisdom reminds us:
"No hay mal que por bien no venga" There is no bad from which good doesn’t come.
5. Take The Smallest Brave Step
Courage is not waiting to feel fearless.
Courage is doing it while feeling ridiculous, nervous, and unsure.
Pick one thing fear has stopped you from doing.
Send that email.
Apply for that opportunity.
Post that imperfect reel.
Start that project nobody knows about yet.
Remember:
"Traveler, there is no path the path is made by walking."
(Spanish Proverb)
Failure Is Not The End — It’s The Beginning
Failure is proof you lived.
That you showed up.
That you dared.
That you learned.
That you lived fully.
That you tried when others stayed quiet.
Nobody writes a great story about staying safe forever.
So go ahead, fail gloriously if you must.
Laugh about it later.
But whatever you do, don’t let fear decide the size of your life.
Because you, my friend, were not born for smallness.
You were born for boldness.
You were born for brave things.
Meet the expert:
Shikha Kaushik is a psychologist and the founder of Heal and Revive. With a heart rooted in mental health advocacy and women’s empowerment, she guides individuals worldwide to overcome self-doubt, build emotional resilience, and create a life that feels authentically theirs.
Dive deeper into her wealth of knowledge:
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