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The Empowering Lessons that Mom, Aunts and Grandma Taught Me:Why Their Voices Inspired My Mission to Empower Women
- Joan Stenzler
- Oct 11
- 4 min read
I come from a long line of little women with big, bold ideas. And I was blessed to be
surrounded by wise, inspiring females—my mom, my aunts, and my grandmother—
who became my mentors and role models.
They were free thinking, independent spirits—deeply devoted to family—who also
taught me the importance of standing up for what I believe in and speaking up when it
matters.
Their courage, independence, and refusal to stay silent didn’t just shape me; they
planted the seeds of my life’s work.
Today, the empowering lessons they passed down inspire everything I do to help
other women trust their intuition, find their voice, embrace their worthiness and
speak up with confidence.
These four extraordinary women shaped my perspective on what it means to be brave
in a man-centered world: my Mom, Lillian; my Aunt Claire; my Aunt Betty; and my
Grandma Sophie Linker.
Their courage, independence, and refusal to stay silent didn’t just shape me; they planted the seeds of my life’s work.
My Mother, Lillian — A Force to Be Reckoned With
My mom had an indomitable spirit and a presence that simply couldn’t be
ignored. One of three girls among ten siblings, she was incredibly smart. Life
circumstances delayed her dreams—she postponed marriage to care for her younger
siblings and manage the household—but she never gave up on her goals
She became a mother at 34, when I was born and after multiple miscarriages, she and
my Dad found a way to give me a baby brother, by adopting a precious little one,
Michael, into our family.
Later in life, her determination took center stage again when she enrolled at
Brooklyn College and earned a degree in Economics—at 53.
Even in her 90s, she wouldn’t take “no” for an answer when it came to what
mattered to her. For over five years, she fought to get a mammogram after her doctors
insisted it was unnecessary. Eventually, they gave in—and she proved, yet again, that
persistence pays off.
From my Mom, I learned to value myself, trust my voice, and never sit silently
when something important is at stake. She knew her worth—and made sure others
didn’t forget it. And by her example, I became determined to do the same.
From my Mom, I learned to value myself, trust my voice, and never sit silently when something important is at stake.
Aunt Claire — Staying Curious Keeps You Young
Aunt Claire lived to be 101, and I’m convinced her secret was curiosity. No matter
her age or how much she had experienced, she greeted each new discovery with
childlike wonder and delight. And all her life, really knew how to have fun!
Watching her marvel at life’s small surprises taught me to treasure each present
moment and never stop learning.
Aunt Betty — A Heart Full of Insight
Tiny in stature but huge in wisdom and heart, Aunt Betty or Biggie as some would
fondly call her, had a gift for making others feel seen, valued, and loved. She could
read a situation clearly and knew when to speak up—and when to sit back and wait.
When I was struggling with a family relationship, she would quietly validate my feelings
at just the right time, offering words that made me feel deeply understood.
Her example showed me how important it is to really listen and be an advocate
for others.
Grandma Sophie — Quiet Strength and Sharp Wit
A true renaissance woman for her time, Grandma Sophie came to the U.S. from
Romania alone at 14. She became a dressmaker, made her own clothes, raised ten
children through tough financial times, and cooked for all of them, every single day.
In her “spare time” she would offer to take care of Mrs. Carlucci’s kids, because that is
what neighbors did for each other.
Grandma Sophie had a sly sense of humor and like my Mom, would not tolerate
disrespect.. My favorite memory is from when my cousin Lori and I took her to lunch in
her 80s. The waitress took our orders, then turned to me and asked, “And what will
Grandma have?”
Grandma, without missing a beat, replied, “If you want to know what Grandma is having,you should ask Grandma!”
The embarrassed waitress quickly learned a lesson about the importance of respect
and not making assumptions about older folks.
From Grandma, I learned that dignity and self-respect have no expiration date.
From Grandma, I learned that dignity and self-respect have no expiration date.
The Legacy They Left Me
Each of these women taught me to trust my intuition, stand up for myself, and
take action—even when it’s uncomfortable or uncertain. Watching them face
challenges with courage gave me the blueprint for doing the same in my own life.
They built a legacy of strength, compassion, and boldness that continues to
inspire me—and their inspiration has made me passionate about sharing these lessons
with the women I now have the privilege to teach, coach and inspire each day!
Each of these women taught me to trust my intuition, stand up for myself, and take action—even when it’s uncomfortable or uncertain.
Meet the expert:
Joan Stenzler, LCSW, is a Communication Design Strategist and Relationship Empowerment Coach who teaches high-achieving women who are ready to be taken seriously, how to design their unique communication blueprint, ask for what they need, say NO without feeling guilty and speak up clearly and decisively. By finding the words and the way to connect, they can help heal their relationships and save their marriages.
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