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I thought my life was over. My family was in jeopardy. I thought, “I can’t deal with this. I don’t want to go through this.” I felt I had already been through so much, I could not take one more hard thing in life.
And it was worse than I thought. That was the day my life started crumbling around me. All I wanted to do was hide under my covers and pretend it wasn’t happening. I mean, June Cleaver had a pretty good life right? As a mother I could not allow myself to hide and pretend it is all okay when it was not. I could not show my daughters how to be a mother, a woman or an adult if I hid in my room. That is not who I am. So I put one foot in front of the other and did the hardest thing in my adult life and moved forward.
Pain, confusion, devastation is relative to the person experiencing it. I did my best to cover up my deep concern, and my “I can’t believe this is my life now” look on my face. Some days were better than others. And I was reminded of all the things I believe in and know to be true. This is where I found comfort within myself.
Here’s the thing though, no matter what happens in your life, even the stuff we would not wish on anyone, is happening for you. I know, I know, you probably have a zillion scenarios that counter that statement. And it is true there are many hard things that this statement may not apply to. I leave it with you to decide what that is. And for the moment consider it can apply to many other things in life.
Once you get through the shock and you begin to pick up the pieces of a broken life, then one piece at a time comes to light as the rest of the puzzle begins to take shape. This is life happening for you again.
And if you didn’t have the trauma, you would not have learned what you learned and be where you are or know the people you know or have the drive to do the work you do, and so on.
Here's a little back story, you’ll need this for the rest of this story to make sense. I knew in my 20’s that the dream I really wanted was to work with women and help them to be strong and aware and be who they were inside with no excuses, no worries about other people's opinions or what society would dictate. I wanted to teach them to think differently. I was in my 20’s, I had big ideas! We didn’t use the word empowered for it then.
Now let me tell you how life is happening for you by my own example.
When I remarried, I was 34 and getting ready to have my second daughter. Like I said, I always had this dream of guiding women. My reasons why are for another day. At the time, I had a great career that I loved most of the time.
Knowing that I could not be the mother I wanted to be to both of my daughters and keep my career, which became crystal clear after my second daughter was born. I then left the career I loved. There was a huge transition that I went through, becoming a stay at home mom (you know, if you know).
Funny thing is, about two years before I left my job of 15 years, I knew a woman who quit to start her own business with a friend and colleague.
I remember gushing over her new adventure and thinking, “oh, that is what I have always wanted to do.” I had really given very little thought of this earlier dream until she told me what she was doing. As the years went by, as I was raising my daughters, my oldest girl went to college and my youngest was in kindergarten, I would occasionally be reminded of this woman and her friend and wonder how they were doing.
One day, a friend and I were having a conversation about energy healing. We were so curious, we found a Master Teacher, experienced some sessions and decided to become Reiki Practitioners, not to start a business necessarily, simply to learn about energy healing. I had been studying metaphysics since I was 18, taking classes, working with a mentor, so it felt right.
About this time in 2006, this new career called Coaching was catching on and really helping people with their personal struggles. A lightbulb went off! Coaching, teaching and training my staff were the areas of my job that I loved the most. I felt the thing I had always wanted to do was showing up. I dove in, I researched how to become a Coach, what kind of coaches existed at the time and spoke to a Coach who was an instructor at a Coaching School I was looking at. She advised me to start coaching someone I knew. So I did. My dear friend who I took Reiki with was willing to work with me.
She was looking for her next move in life at the time she was interested in being my first free practice client. I absolutely loved it. And I helped her! She landed on a new career after our work together and is still in this career today.
Then, life appeared with all of its obstacles and I was reminded, having something of my own would be difficult in my marriage and I would not be supported to pursue this new career while I had family responsibilities.
I tucked it away. I wasn’t completely unhappy in my life, and there were parts that were starting to take a toll on me. I loved staying home with my daughters, I enjoyed being involved at my youngests school. I recognized how important my role was in staying home and raising both my girls. I was so proud of my oldest daughter for getting into a college she loved and she was supported in getting an education, which was something I did not have or do. You know those moments that ensure something you wanted as a kid, you help to pave the way for your kids? It is so rewarding to give that to your children.
I am so proud of those years. I know I did the right thing for my children and my family. What I didn’t do for myself, was another matter. I could not see around the obstacle. I thought it was all or nothing. So I put my dream on the shelf. I almost forgot about it.
When the unthinkable happened, I knew underneath the shock, underneath my grief, under all of the pain my family was experiencing, and as awful and devastating as it was, it was happening for me.
With each step I took, I started to come alive again. My dear friend, who was my first coaching client, had her own space as a Reiki Practitioner and a Holistic Health Practitioner. She invited me to use her space and start off as a Reiki Practitioner. I tried going back to my old career for a steady income and that door would not open. Once you leave something that is meant to stay in the past, it sometimes cannot be rekindled. The current shape of the world is not kind or generous to mothers who stayed home, or those of a certain age, I was 47 at the time. I had two strikes against me. So I moved forward and slowly started coaching my Reiki clients and then my Reiki shaped into guided meditations, which I use in my Coaching business today.
After 4 years of teaching Reiki and holding sessions, I felt strong enough to be in my Coaching business full time. I have never looked back. I had no idea what I was getting into as an entrepreneur and there are days I question my sanity, and I have had thoughts like, “just go get a job!” Those are the moments I dig deeper within myself, and I am reminded of my journey and how everything has shown up for me in the most beautiful way, even in the darkest and most challenging times of my life.
Some things may never make sense to you, and maybe those are the things that are not for you. There are much harder things in life than losing everything, we can only look at what remains and restore the goodness and let the rest go.
It is never too late to give yourself the life you have always dreamt of and thought it was simply a daydream. Life is always happening for you. In your second act of life the best things can come true for you. When I have thoughts like, I wish I had done this earlier in life. I remind myself, I did not know what I know now. I had to go through all of the stages of darkness I have experienced in order to be the woman I am today, to have gathered wisdom, learned the greatest lessons in order to lead other women on a similar path.
The experience of losing it all, has taught me how to love myself first, make myself a priority, and invest in what I value. I can now guide other women who are interested in learning the steps to master change, worthiness, their true identity and trust themselves to live an empowered life from the inside out.
If you look at your life objectively, you can see the glimmers of the dreams that you once had as a little girl, often you will see them rising from the ashes of a life you thought was yours forever.
Maya Angelou once said, “There is no greater agony than carrying an untold story inside you.” Find your story, and bring it into expression. It is not too late.
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Meet the expert:
Josette Diaz, is a Self Awareness Coach for Women in Midlife. High achieving women go from successful on paper to living joyfully successful from the inside out. Josette has created a system in self mastery, Seasons of the Soul®, so that women ALIGN through creative development strategies and become their own soulmate.
In 2006 Josette began her journey as a certified Reiki Practitioner and in 2014 a Reiki Master Teacher. In the last several years she has obtained further education/certification as a Art Therapy Practitioner, and a Master NLP Practitioner/Trainer and Timeline Therapy ™ Practitioner.
Josette is a Speaker, Author, Facilitator, and Panelist, on various topics under empowerment, she has taken the stage and has been a guest on various Podcasts and Live online broadcasts from San Diego to Canada and Australia.
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