Speaking with Confidence

Speaking with confidence is a learned skill built through practice, self-love, and reframing fear into empowerment.

Have you ever heard of glossophobia? If you haven’t, glossophobia is when

people are terrified of public speaking. Surveys consistently show that this affects

the majority of people with estimates typically ranging from 72%-77%. This fear is

so common that it's more widespread than the fear of heights, spiders, or even

death.

It’s interesting to me that people would rather die than speak in front of a crowd,

however, it's not surprising because I used to dread speaking in front of people. I

took a public speaking course when I was an undergrad and it was the most

nerve wrecking thing I had ever experienced. There were only about 5-7 people

in the room when I gave my speech and I still found myself sweating, tripping

over my words, and my legs were shaking like Jell-O.

If you are a nervous speaker, don’t worry, you’re certainly not alone and the good

news is that a lot of these nerves stem from public speaking simply being new to

us. We don’t come out of the womb being taught how to speak in front of a

crowd. Communication and public speaking is an art that takes time to learn and

more time to perfect. The good news is that I am here to help you work through

some of that nervousness and give you some tips and tricks on how to be a

strong and confident speaker.

Communication and public speaking is an art that takes time to learn and more time to perfect.

I believe that a lot of nerves come from simply not having experience as well as

our own bouts of limiting beliefs. Sometimes we bully ourselves without even

noticing it and tell ourselves things like “they’ll never believe I am an expert,” or

“they’re going to realize I don’t know what I am talking about.” Don’t forget that

every expert was a beginner at some point, these things take time and lots of

practice.

When I first started my nonprofit, &Rise, I never imagined that I would have to

speak in front of big crowds and when these opportunities kept arising, I would

try to avoid it like the plague. Then I realized that I am the face behind the brand

and I am the voice for those who feel they don’t have one. I quickly realized that I

would have to work through this fear and began working on my confidence.

Confidence comes from within. I can’t help you obtain your confidence but I can

help you with tips and tricks to get you there faster. Through &Rise, I help women

work through trauma and abuse. I work with clients to release trauma and help

clients to build their confidence back up. I blend my trauma work into my public

speaking work to help women overcome those thoughts that hold us back and

become empowered to be the best public speaker you can be! Part of this is

being your own biggest cheerleader. If you don’t root for yourself, who else will?

If you don’t root for yourself, who else will?

They came to hear what you have to say

The number one thing I hear from my clients are “they are going to judge me” or

“they’re going to think I don’t know what I am talking about.” I always respond

with “they came to hear what you have to say.” I have had people drive 2+ hours

to come to a workshop or to come to a keynote I am giving.

They didn’t drive out from afar to make fun of me or to secretly judge me, they

came all that way because they want to hear what I have to say. I want to remind

everyone that you are the expert in your field. You know what you bring to the

table and you know how to serve your clients best. That experience and

professionalism is what makes you an expert and the reason why people will

come to learn what you have to teach them.

Confidence is Key

I know confidence can be hard for many women but please know that it is entirely

possible to gain and grow your confidence. Due to much trauma and abuse in my

past, I had tons of limiting beliefs and confidence issues when I started &Rise

and now I feel that I am the complete opposite of where I started. Self love is a

huge factor in this. When you love yourself and think highly of yourself, that is the

energy you will give off and then other people will think highly of you and love you

too.

 When you love yourself and think highly of yourself, that is the energy you will give off and then other people will think highly of you and love you too.

“But Jennifer, how do I do this?” The first thing you can do is try forgiving

yourself. Forgive yourself for the past, the mistakes you made, and the mistakes

you will make in the future. You can also try other things such as being gentle

with yourself. Giving your mind AND body time to rest is also really important.

Listening to positive affirmations. Surround yourself with positive and kind people.

Taking walks, moving your body, being in the sun, etc. Whatever brings you

peace and joy is part of the puzzle of self love. If you don’t take care of yourself,

who else will?

Confidence Tips for Speaking

Here are some helpful tips for becoming a better public speaker and

communicator:

1. Practice makes perfect. If you want to feel more confident in what you’re

saying, practice. If you want to really kill your speech, practice a lot. I

promise there will be a lot less mistakes if you practice. I also promise that

you will feel so much more prepared and confident if you practice instead

of winging it. Winging it will more than likely cause more anxiety which will

add to nervousness and feeling less confident.

2. Mirror work. After you’ve familiarized yourself with your speech. Practice

in front of a mirror. This is a great way to see and practice facial

expressions, hand gestures, and body language. If you see something you

don’t like, you can change it.

3. Going LIVE on social media. I started &Rise during COVID so there were

no options to do anything in-person at that time. I used to do a TON of

Facebook and Instagram lives and boy can that be nerve wrecking. If you

have never gone LIVE it's a great way to practice being in front of a LIVE

audience. It teaches you how to react in a moment's notice and to practice

hearing silence since no one is there talking with you. If you mess up,

you’re LIVE so there’s no editing or going back. You just have to roll with it

and as nerve wrecking as that sounds, it's an excellent way to practice.

4. Recording yourself. Record your speeches and watch them back. This

can be an excellent way to fix any tongue twisters with easier words or

changing your body language in case you don’t like how something looks.

This also helps you get a better understanding of your timing and if you

need more content or less of it.

5. Practice with a friend or colleague. Have someone you trust and feel

comfortable with to listen to your speech and give you feedback. This can

be really helpful in case something they heard didn’t make sense or if you

need to speak louder or do some additional gestures to bring your point

across.

6. Reframe limiting beliefs. If you keep telling yourself you’re going to blow

it or that no one will want to hear what you have to say then you’re going to

believe those things. Instead, reframe those mean thoughts to something

nice and positive. Tell yourself, “they came to hear what I have to say,” or “I

am a strong and confident speaker and my audience loves me.” If you say

those things to yourself over and over, you also start to believe it, which is

powerful.

7. Body Language. Practice body language such as facial expressions, hand

gestures and movements, and even moving around the stage. Keep

refining it until you love how it looks.

Joining a speaking group or working with a speaking coach to practice your skills

As I previously mentioned, practice makes perfect. Consider joining

a public speaking coaching group where you can practice with other like-minded

individuals. This will give you the opportunity to practice and refine your

speeches. It will also give you the opportunity to practice in front of other people

who can give you constructive feedback on how you did and how you can

improve. There is a lot of power in group work. When you’re in a group, you

notice that everyone else is there for the same reasons as you, to work on their

confidence and practice to become a strong speaker.

Alternatively, you can hire a coach who can work with you one on one to give you

a deeper level of help and help you get better faster. I worked with a speaking

coach and she helped me in so many ways. There are a lot of little things we

don’t notice or habits we have that don’t do well on stage and a coach can help

you with those things you may not even pay attention to.

Becoming a better communicator

This is a skill that can be developed overtime through effort and practice. It starts with active listening, which involves fully focusing on the other person to understand their message and perspective, not just waiting for your turn to speak. Active listening helps you become a stronger public speaker because if you listen, your audience will tell you exactly what they need to hear and then you can create your speeches based on that feedback.

Being clear and concise in your own message is crucial; this means organizing

your thoughts and speaking directly to the point. I don’t advise that anyone read

an entire speech off of a paper but to create bullet points if you did need

something to reference. Reading from a paper or script truly depends on the

type of event and environment. If you’re trying to give a fun and interesting

speech, reading off a paper will not help with that. Also, paying attention to

non-verbal communication, such as body language, tone, and eye contact, is

equally important, as these cues will convey if your audience is listening and

engaged or if they’re completely tuned out. If you notice your audience is tuned

out there are tips for bringing them back to the room.

I also have been asked by many professionals if “it's okay to talk about myself

during my speech?” My answer? Hell yes. Why wouldn’t you want to share some

personal information with your audience so that they can relate to you on a

personal level? That is part of the key of being a great speaker, relating to your

audience. If you do a really good job, they will never forget you. I know I want my

audience to always remember me and what I said.

Clear Messaging

If your message isn’t strong and clear, you will confuse your audience. I went to

an event a few years ago to learn more about business communication. The

person who was presenting was all over the place and I wasn’t really sure what

the main message was. I left confused and this was not a good thing. Please

make sure to go over your speech and ensure it makes sense and that it flows

well. If you don’t know if you have a good speech or not, this is where a speaking

coach can come in and help you make your speech interesting and intriguing to

your audience.

No one is usually taught how to communicate effectively and speak in front of a

crowd. This isn’t a skill most people are born with. It’s an art and it takes a lot of

intention and practice. There are many things you can do to be more confident

about public speaking such as practicing with a trusted friend or colleague, mirror

work, recording yourself, and reframing limiting beliefs so you can be more

confident. More importantly, reminding yourself that your crowd came out to hear

what you have to say. Once you reframe these things, public speaking doesn’t

seem so scary or daunting.

Jennifer Solarte— Public Speaking Consultant

Meet the expert:

Jennifer Solarte is the founder and CEO of The Latina Speaking Network which provides specialized coaching and resources to empower Latinas to find their voice, develop confidence in their public speaking skills, and to create compelling speeches to help develop their brands. Jennifer’s expertise is built on the foundation of her own journey as a survivor and is put into practice by creating a program that provides coaching and resources to help others communicate powerfully and authentically.

Dive deeper into her wealth of knowledge:

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