Whoever Has All The Money Has All The Power

Whatever confuses you has already been solved by someone else. Find them before you quit.

My abuser used to say two things to me.

Whoever has all the money has all the power.

Whoever makes all the money makes all the rules.

Then he would ask me if I had any money, and I would say...

***

It was probably 2012. I don't remember exactly anymore.

I had opened an online eBay store.

I was looking to leave an abusive relationship and decided I was going to start selling some of my things, in order to save money and escape.

I had been with this man for eight years. I had recently connected all the dots and realized the sheer amount of narcissistic behavior I had been putting up with on a daily basis.

I needed to get out.

The mental, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse was too much for me to handle.

He would often say:

‘Whoever has all the money has all the power. Do you have any money?’

‘Whoever makes all the money makes all the rules. Do you have any money?’

My answer was always the same. ‘No.’

And his answer back was always the same. ‘Exactly.’

Those statements would bring me to my knees every time.

Completely helpless. He controlled every aspect of my life, including my money.

I was powerless.

Then one day, out of the blue, that phrase hit me differently than it ever had before.

I realized he always said ‘whoever’.

'Whoever has all the money.'

Not that he has all the money.

So did that mean if I had money, I would have power? Would I be able to make the rules?

Was this indeed a fact?

I decided to find out…

So there I was, sitting at my computer, listing my son's old children's books on eBay. My goal was to list ten a day.

I will never forget the day I sold my first book.

How to Give a Mouse a Cookie.

I made two dollars and fifteen cents.

I was more than elated.

I remember watching that sale come through like it was yesterday. Actual money hitting my account for the first time, money I had made.

I remember thinking, I am going to do this. I am going to be able to escape this hell.

I can free myself.

I remember for the first time feeling real hope. Feeling powerful, in control.

I packaged the book, wrote a nice little note to the customer, and set out to the post office.

Three dollars to send that book.

I lost eighty five cents on my very first sale.

I sat in my car. Pissed. Sad. Upset. Defeated.

I went from adrenaline and joy to absolute defeat, all within thirty minutes.

I sat there and spiraled. I'm an idiot. I don't understand this. I'm never getting out of this relationship. I'm doomed forever.

I had a decision to make right there in that parking lot.

Quit, and let that eighty five cents mean I was never going to make it.

Or figure out what I had actually gotten wrong.

There was evidence everywhere that eBay worked. People were making money. If it was working for other people, it could work for me.

I went home. Watched two or three YouTube videos on how to calculate shipping so it wouldn't eat my profit. Went back through every single listing I had up and fixed every one.

Was it a pain in my ass? Yes.

Was it time consuming? Yes.

Did I want to do this extra legwork? No.

But I started making money after that.

Money that was entirely mine, that nobody else controlled, built out of nothing but a stack of children's books and a decision not to quit.

This is the exact moment so many business owners hit and never get past. The little hurdles that make or break the real entrepreneurs from the want-a-preneurs.

And these little hurdles always seem big. In that moment, most people do one of two things.

Quit. Or decide the product doesn't work, and pivot to something else, chasing the same feeling somewhere new instead of fixing what actually broke.

What that eighty five cents taught me, years before I ever became a coach, is that anything you don't understand yet isn't proof you can't do it. It's proof you need to find someone who already knows more than you do.

Three things I'd tell you if you're questioning your entrepreneurial journey.

One. A loss in the beginning is data, not a verdict. I lost eighty five cents on my first sale, but that didn't mean eBay didn't work.

Two. If someone else is doing it successfully, the model works. Your execution just needs adjusting, not your entire plan.

Three. Whatever confuses you right now has already been solved by someone else. Find them before you quit.

***

It's time to get your own freedom, power and choice. House of Velani is where you will find the answers to building a more sustainable business that pays you more, more frequently.

Meet the expert:

Sabrina Victoria  — Her Nation Global

Sabrina Victoria is the creator of Her Nation Magazine, a TEDx speaker, powerhouse entrepreneur, and founder of Her Nation Global. A bold media platform designed to elevate women in business through high-visibility features like podcasts, digital magazine covers, and transformational events. She runs a mastermind called, House of Velani, where she guides women business owners toward creating more cash flow into their business. With 20+ years in door-to-door sales and the co-creation of multiple 6- and 7-figure ventures, Sabrina leads with charisma, strategy, and an unapologetic belief in the power of community and connection. Every Wednesday she talks business, love and money in her column Unfiltered. Exclusively found here, in Her Nation Magazine.

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