Building Trust and Connection with Your Daughter – at Love.

Trust and Connection with Your Daughter

It’s like magic.

As we commit to cultivate connection with our daughters, we build it within ourselves

too.

Often, as Moms, when we are not connecting easily – at love – with our daughters, we

focus on the problems. And then we stay there, for weeks, months, years, sometimes

decades.

Those problems may sound like:

I am a failure at being a mom.

She makes me so angry.

She doesn’t want to spend time with me.

I am afraid she is going to leave me, like I did to my mom.

She doesn’t care about me. She barely looks at me.

She is mean, she always has been. She doesn’t love me.

When I call, she says she only has a minute. Now she controls when and if I talk with

my grandkids.

Do you notice how these thoughts create feelings and behaviors that keep you

connecting with your daughter at shame, blame, guilt, anger, or another low-level

feeling, instead of at Love?

And I understand. It was my experience, too, when my daughter was a teen. Suddenly, I

felt like I was shutout, alone in our home. I was shocked. I thought I had been a great

mom. I knew this happened with other people’s teens, but I didn’t think it would happen to me.

I stayed stuck in that place for a while, feeling unloved, unworthy of love.

That period brought my childhood feelings front and center, all over again. Truthfully, I

didn’t feel connection at love with my mom. I did things for her so I could feel loved.

So, when I perceived my daughter not loving me, I felt completely devastated. It created

chaos in my mind and body. It was unfathomable. My identity was shaken.

If you are like I was, you may be giving away your power and then feeling powerless to

help yourself.

I later realized something huge:

My daughter had been filling the unmet need in me to be loved. She filled that

void beautifully…

And then it became my turn to love me.

1. State where you are now in your relationship with intention.

Think of this moment like putting a stake in the ground, knowing that you are moving

forward. You’ve been there long enough.

Write it down. Say it aloud. Then, let it go.

By willingly changing your focus, you take your power back.

As soon as you make the decision to change, get honest about your starting point and

begin working on yourself, you will notice the energy between you and your daughter

begin to shift.

Your new thoughts create new behaviors.

Your new actions invite new reactions.

2. Let her off the hook for meeting your emotional needs.

When we give away the responsibility to love ourselves, we unconsciously need

someone else to carry that burden.

That is not fair to our daughters - or to us.

And when I see little babies now, I know with absolute clarity that no mama intends to dump this burden on her little girl.

To build trust and connection, we must do our part. We must meet our emotional needs.

Cultivate your worthiness for love.

Learn to like, and eventually, love yourself.

Make choices on purpose in favor of what you need.

Create connection within yourself.

It is not your daughter’s job to make you feel valued, appreciated, respected, chosen,

seen, or loved. By tending to yourself like a woman who is so deserving of love and

care, you free your daughter from a burden she was never meant to carry. And in that

freedom, you begin to build real trust and connection.

It is not your daughter’s job to make you feel valued, appreciated, respected, chosen, seen, or loved

3. Show her that you are trustworthy to meet your emotional needs.

The best part is once you know how to care for yourself emotionally, you become even

more prepared for holding that same type of space for your daughter.

You feel your feelings and give yourself what you need.

You no longer meet her with a reaction.

You become patient, present, and grounded.

You allow her to feel what she feels, without trying to fix or change it.

You meet her with compassion and open the opportunity to get curious about her life

right now.

You become the woman you needed. And the woman she needs, too.

You become the woman you needed. And the woman she needs, too.

You build trust and connection.

You hold the power to shift the dynamic between you. No matter what your

relationship looks like today, it is possible to improve it dramatically.

As you practice and integrate these shifts into your real life, something incredible

happens. You begin to feel appreciated, cared for, safe, seen, heard, valued, by

yourself. You feel at ease in your own body. You connect with You.

Remember, your daughter wants to be loved, by you, too.

Trust and connection at love are waiting for you behind your current thoughts, feelings

and patterns.

Take your power back. Take your relationship back.

It is your choice from here.

You get to decide.

Tina Mayhew, Mother Daughter Connection Coach

Meet the expert:

 Tina Mayhew, a Mother Daughter Connection Coach, took her relationship with her daughter into her own hands to find answers to her feelings of unworthiness and disconnection. Her work turned into a mission to help as many Moms as possible connect with their daughters, at love. Her superpower is teaching Moms to meet their own need to be loved.

Dive deeper into her wealth of knowledge:

Website

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