.png)
Healing from the Unimaginable: Navigating Grief After Suicide
- Serena Mastin
- May 1
- 4 min read
In the quiet spaces of life, we often come to understand that our emotional
wounds shape how we see the world and how we navigate it. We might find
ourselves stuck in the same cycles of conflict or struggle, wondering why it
always seems to happen. The truth is, we often act from the patterns we learned
in our early years—the emotional wounds that we can’t always see clearly but
that shape everything. Until we face and heal these wounds, they will keep
resurface.
The truth is, we often act from the patterns we learned in our early years—the emotional wounds that we can’t always see clearly but that shape everything.
We all face moments in life where we feel alone—especially as entrepreneurs.
But I want to remind you that thifeeling of loneliness isn’t a sign of weakness.
It’s actually a deep reminder of our need for connection and the importance of
surrounding ourselves with those who truly support us, who understand our
journey.
I started my business in 2013, not long after my husband made the decision to
dedicate himself to it, focusing solely on sales. Together, we built something from
scratch—starting with a small office in our home, a few employees—and grew
the agency to over a million in sales within the first five years. From the outside,
we were the "power couple." But behind closed doors, I was silently battling with my own struggles. I was caught in a codependent relationship, dealing with my
husband’s unfaithfulness multiple times. Instead of setting boundaries, I
internalized his actions, believing that I wasn’t enough for him. To protect our
family, our business, and our employees, I kept his shortcomings hidden. But
deep down, I carried the weight of believing that in order to prove my worth, I had
to earn approval.
This constant need to fix, hide, and protect everyone around me began to take a
toll on my health—weight gain, physical issues, and a sense of deep isolation.
The emotional scars of my past trauma made it even harder to break free from
the cycle.
Eventually, I realized that I couldn’t continue living this way. I had to find the
courage to leave my husband, even though the fear of what was at stake was
paralyzing. The thought of losing my business, breaking up our family, exposing
our truth, and starting over felt like an impossible mountain to climb. But in the
end, I had to accept that I couldn’t control his actions, only my own healing.
On October 15, 2019, I found the courage to leave my husband. Just a few
months later, on March 27, 2020, he chose to take his own life. That loss—the
grief, the pain—was more than I could have ever imagined. The storm of COVID,
the loss of my husband, and the financial strain it placed on our family and the
business was overwhelming. I feared for the future, for my children, my family,
my employees, and my clients. I was drowning in grief, unsure of how to rise
above it.
Losing someone to suicide is a different kind of pain—deep and complex. The
grief can feel isolating, and at times, it feels like you’re trapped in an endless
cycle of confusion and sorrow. But through it all, I hold on to hope. I’ve learned
that healing is a messy, nonlinear process, one that requires patience with
yourself. Each year, each day, brings new emotions, new lessons. But it’s about
navigating these emotions, embracing growth, and trusting that healing unfolds at
its own pace.
One way to approach this journey is with the acronym OCEAN, which has helped
me process my grief and move forward:
OCEAN – Navigating Grief
O – Overcoming the Waves
Grief comes in waves—sometimes gentle, sometimes overwhelming. It’s
important to allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling, acknowledging your
emotions and letting them pass through you.
C – Connecting with Others
You don’t have to grieve alone. Seek out friends, family, or a support
group. Connection is crucial, especially when the pain feels unbearable.
E – Embracing the Pain
Healing begins when we stop resisting the pain. It’s okay to feel sadness,
anger, and confusion. These emotions are part of the journey, and
embracing them is the first step toward healing.
Healing begins when we stop resisting the pain
A – Accepting Change
Life after loss is different. But in that difference, there is room for growth.
Finding new meaning and purpose is part of the process of moving
forward.
N – Navigating a New Normal
Grief changes you. But it doesn’t define you. With each small step forward,
you begin to create a life where the love you’ve lost and the healing you
seek can coexist.
Grief isn’t a burden you need to carry alone. By addressing your emotional
needs, recognizing patterns, and following a structured path toward healing, you
can honor the memory of your loved one while also reclaiming your life.
Grief isn’t a burden you need to carry alone.
As I reflect on this journey, I realize that today marks the fifth anniversary of his
death. I’ve faced obstacles that felt insurmountable, and I’ve felt every
emotion—heartbreak, hope, defeat, empowerment. But above all, I feel a sense
of inner peace. Inner peace doesn’t mean the absence of turbulence. It means
accepting that turbulence is part of the process—and learning to find calm amid
the storm.
The stars rise after the darkness falls. The sun rises after the night. A flower rises
from the soil after the seed is buried deep. In the same way, you will rise with
each fall. With more grace, patience, compassion, and wisdom than you could
ever imagine.
Give yourself grace. As you begin to make peace with your past, you’ll discover
more peace in your present.
Meet the expert:
Serena Mastin is the heart and soul behind Pulse Marketing, an award-winning agency that seamlessly blends traditional and digital strategies to help businesses thrive. With a deep passion for entrepreneurship and a personal journey of growth and healing, she dedicates herself to empowering others to embrace resilience and transformation.
Dive deeper into her wealth of knowledge:
Follow:
