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Introduction
Do you ever feel like saying “no” is the hardest thing to do? As a female entrepreneur, you’re used to juggling a million responsibilities, supporting others, and showing up for your business, family, and community. But what about YOU? Are you putting your own needs last? If so, it’s time to stop being a people pleaser and start prioritizing yourself.
Being a people pleaser is not just draining—it’s self-sabotage. But here’s the good news: you can break free from this habit. Let’s explore how you can shift your mindset, set boundaries, and embrace the badass entrepreneur you truly are.
Start with Pleasing Yourself: What Do You Really Want?
Take a moment to ask yourself: What do I really want? Not what your clients, colleagues, or even your partner expects from you—but what you desire. Starting with your own needs is the first step to reclaiming your power.
If your normal behavior is deferring to others, you may want to start small and gain confidence in making choices that delight you.
Think about how this shows up in everyday life. For example, when was the last time you bought clothes that made you feel bold, confident, and sexy? If your wardrobe is filled with “comfortable” or “appropriate” options that don’t spark joy, it’s time for a change. Channel your inner Marie Kondo and declutter anything that doesn’t make you feel amazing. Keep only what empowers you and expresses your true self.
Your core values are another good indicator of what you truly want. When you are presented with an opportunity to do something, ask yourself if this activity is aligned with your values. When you are in alignment, saying yes will feel expansive, and your body will feel relaxed. However, if you are not in alignment, you may notice a restriction in your chest or breathing. You may also feel a pit in your stomach. This is your body’s way of reminding you that saying no is the right choice for you in the moment.
By starting small, like choosing outfits that please you and listening to your inner wisdom, you build momentum for larger changes in your life. Each decision becomes a vote for the person you want to be.
Embrace an Abundance Mindset
People-pleasing often stems from a scarcity mindset—the fear that saying “no” will lead to losing relationships, opportunities, or approval. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. When you embrace an abundance mindset, you understand that everything you need already exists and is available for you. There’s no shortage of opportunities or love for the person you truly are.
For instance:
Scarcity Mindset: “If I say no to this client, they’ll never hire me again.”
Abundance Mindset: “By saying no to this misaligned client, I make space for better opportunities that align with my values.”
Switching to an abundance mindset empowers you to prioritize your needs without guilt or fear. It’s not selfish; it’s self-preservation.
JOMO vs. FOMO: The Joy of Missing Out
As entrepreneurs, we’re often bombarded with FOMO (Fear of Missing Out):
Fear of missing a networking event.
Fear of not being included in a social media post.
Fear of losing clients by setting boundaries.
But here’s the truth: FOMO is a trap that keeps you overcommitted and drained. Instead, embrace JOMO—the Joy of Missing Out. JOMO means finding contentment in saying “no” to things that don’t serve you.
As an entrepreneur, you wear many hats in your business, but you can’t possibly do everything. If you always say yes because you’re people-pleasing and therefore don’t delegate, burnout is inevitable, and your business will suffer. Choosing JOMO and realizing that you don’t have to do everything yourself will lead to better work/life balance and create more abundance in your life.
Practical Daily Practices to Break the Habit of People Pleasing
1. Affirmations
Affirmations are a powerful tool to rebuild your sense of self-worth. Write down and repeat affirmations like:
“I am enough.”
“I am worthy.”
“I am loved just as I am.”
Use these as journal prompts, write them on sticky notes, or make them your phone passwords. Over time, these affirmations will reprogram your subconscious to support a more positive mindset.
2. Gratitude Practice
Start each day by listing 1-3 things you’re grateful for. Gratitude shifts your focus from lack to abundance, helping you feel fulfilled and less dependent on external validation.
You can amplify your gratitude practice by including others. Recruit your business bestie or a close friend or family member to be your gratitude partner. Begin each day with a quick text sharing your gratitude.
3. Be Present
Stay grounded in the present moment through mindfulness practices like meditation, breathwork, or even a walk in nature. When you’re fully present, you’re less likely to fall into old people-pleasing patterns.
A great way to stay present is to tune in to your five senses. Notice what you see, smell, taste, touch, and hear throughout the day, and observe how you feel more connected to each moment.
4. Journaling
Track your progress by journaling:
Times you said “no” and prioritized yourself.
Moments when you caught yourself people-pleasing.
Reflections on how these changes make you feel.
Over time, your journal will become a roadmap of your growth and transformation.
Remember that breaking the people-pleasing habit is a journey, and no one is perfect. It will take time to feel more natural putting yourself first. Each effort you make to do so is worth it! As you gain confidence prioritizing yourself, celebrate your wins as you make more choices truly aligned with your preferences.
Conclusion
Being a people pleaser might feel like second nature, but it’s a habit you can break. By prioritizing yourself, embracing abundance, and practicing JOMO, you’ll not only reclaim your time and energy but also create a life that’s authentically yours.
Remember, the key steps are:
Start with pleasing yourself.
Ask yourself if activities align with your core values and say no if they don’t.
Shift to an abundance mindset.
Practice JOMO vs. FOMO.
Implement daily strategies to build self-worth.
You are a powerful, badass entrepreneur who deserves to live life on your terms. So, start today. Choose yourself. Because when you do, you’ll inspire others to do the same.
You’ve got this!
Meet the expert:
Hallie Avolio is on a mission to help 1 Million In-Demand Women live their Fuck Yes Life. She believes in the power of expanding your mindset and opening your intuition to lead you to take action toward living the life you truly desire. Through Hallie's extensive work with affirmations, core values, and the energetics of manifestation, she helps women around the world create their own Fuck Yes Life personally and professionally.
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